MISSING MARKS
By Amon Bett.
Dilemma is trying to decide between either deflating a lecturer’s car tyres or sending him an advisory SMS that the solitary thing he needs in order to add weight is get a brain, having in mind that the latter is quite next to impossible. Have you ever felt the pain of ‘missing marks’? Despite sitting all your exams, why do you have some marks ‘missing’? You won’t feel me here till you fall victim to it one day. Since it’s a phenomenon I can’t change, I catalogue lecturers into four groups to convince victims like myself that we are not to blame:
1. THE LATE COMER
This one will under no circumstances come for his lecture on time. The timetable allocates him three lectures per week, all of which go for two hours. He drives a 1992 Toyota 100 model and arrives in the lab half an hour before his allocated time elapses. He always apologises for having nothing to apologise for, if you can read between the lines. He only stays for twenty minutes, leaves heaps of assignments and disappears. This makes 30% of students to do distance learning in his course. His Supplementary exams are inevitable and because of his tardiness hobby, he will never forward your marks on time.
2.PROF. NO NONSENSE
This one never forgets a name, never smiles or cracks a joke. He tries hard to find you on the offensive side, forming the root foundation of grudges. He owns a NOKIA 1200 which is forever and a day on silent mode and never wishes yours to be on the converse to his. He teaches while engaged in monologue making half of his students switch to their energy saving modes and comrade I warn you; NEVER miss his class! He enters the lab a minute before his time and leaves a minute after his time. Your missing mark in his course will be because of a mistake he found you in.
3. PROF ABSENT, Msc, LLB (Hons), PhD.
His lectures are usually scheduled to kick off your day at 8.00 am. Here, you assign the Class Representative a unique message alert tone and eagerly wait for his text under your duvets. The probability of receiving a ‘bounced class’ text is 0.9%, catalyzed by the cold weather. This lecturer celebrates three occasions: Holidays, his birthday and Lecturers’ strikes. His assignments are usually sent to every student via e-mail. Half of his class doesn’t know his name and during his exams, he insists you only indicate your name and admission number. You’ll understand the language he uses to teach but not the one in his exams. Put your missing mark blame on a wrong ISP you used while forwarding your take-away cat.
4. THE RAPPER
Speaks ten words per second and never gives a damn about pardoning on any point. Majors on Digital Electronics meaning you have to pay all your attention. The backbench remains empty during his lectures and you won’t find any absentee. He never follows up the class attendance list and doesn’t care whether you attend his class or not. He’ll never find you in class but you will. You’ll know the meaning of being caught between a rock and a hard place during his examinations. Your missing mark comes about because of his don’t care attitude. If you fall victim to it, you’re doomed!
However, some of them are good and all these notwithstanding, you won’t yell at any of them.
Have a thinking day, won’t you?
Dilemma is trying to decide between either deflating a lecturer’s car tyres or sending him an advisory SMS that the solitary thing he needs in order to add weight is get a brain, having in mind that the latter is quite next to impossible. Have you ever felt the pain of ‘missing marks’? Despite sitting all your exams, why do you have some marks ‘missing’? You won’t feel me here till you fall victim to it one day. Since it’s a phenomenon I can’t change, I catalogue lecturers into four groups to convince victims like myself that we are not to blame:
1. THE LATE COMER
This one will under no circumstances come for his lecture on time. The timetable allocates him three lectures per week, all of which go for two hours. He drives a 1992 Toyota 100 model and arrives in the lab half an hour before his allocated time elapses. He always apologises for having nothing to apologise for, if you can read between the lines. He only stays for twenty minutes, leaves heaps of assignments and disappears. This makes 30% of students to do distance learning in his course. His Supplementary exams are inevitable and because of his tardiness hobby, he will never forward your marks on time.
2.PROF. NO NONSENSE
This one never forgets a name, never smiles or cracks a joke. He tries hard to find you on the offensive side, forming the root foundation of grudges. He owns a NOKIA 1200 which is forever and a day on silent mode and never wishes yours to be on the converse to his. He teaches while engaged in monologue making half of his students switch to their energy saving modes and comrade I warn you; NEVER miss his class! He enters the lab a minute before his time and leaves a minute after his time. Your missing mark in his course will be because of a mistake he found you in.
3. PROF ABSENT, Msc, LLB (Hons), PhD.
His lectures are usually scheduled to kick off your day at 8.00 am. Here, you assign the Class Representative a unique message alert tone and eagerly wait for his text under your duvets. The probability of receiving a ‘bounced class’ text is 0.9%, catalyzed by the cold weather. This lecturer celebrates three occasions: Holidays, his birthday and Lecturers’ strikes. His assignments are usually sent to every student via e-mail. Half of his class doesn’t know his name and during his exams, he insists you only indicate your name and admission number. You’ll understand the language he uses to teach but not the one in his exams. Put your missing mark blame on a wrong ISP you used while forwarding your take-away cat.
4. THE RAPPER
Speaks ten words per second and never gives a damn about pardoning on any point. Majors on Digital Electronics meaning you have to pay all your attention. The backbench remains empty during his lectures and you won’t find any absentee. He never follows up the class attendance list and doesn’t care whether you attend his class or not. He’ll never find you in class but you will. You’ll know the meaning of being caught between a rock and a hard place during his examinations. Your missing mark comes about because of his don’t care attitude. If you fall victim to it, you’re doomed!
However, some of them are good and all these notwithstanding, you won’t yell at any of them.
Have a thinking day, won’t you?
I fear this giant called missing marks that is what scared me even before I joined campus
ReplyDeleteThey are nightmares that
Deletecould haunt you for your entire life